So...here i am....trying to keep up my resolve to write more...i haven't been as regular as id've liked to be...i mean its been a coupla weeks since i wrote last....but i really am trying....i mean i'm definitely thinking more bout writing....but it seems like it does take me a while to translate those 'thoughts' into action....
A-ne-way (that's an 'anyway' wit a sigh :p)....my main reason, or rather, excuse, for the procrastination was that i needed to do 'research' on a certain idea....in my head....bout conditioning....n the whole Pavlov's Bell syndrome.....but i couldn't (read: wouldn't) find time....big surprise there!....so like all my other posts...this one's going be off the top o' my head as well....
i don't think i've mentioned my love for music before, have i?....probably cause i'd kinda eased off on listening to music....eased off in comparison to my school and early college days...cause from maybe the 7th grade till my 2nd year of BA i was practically attached, at the earlier stages, to my 'deck' (those almost obsolete tape+CD players)....progressed to a walkman....and then my iPod... :P ....i mean seriously...during my 11th and 12th...you would hardly ever find me w/o headphones around my neck (or on my ears)....but for some reason...i'd stopped listening to music quite so much after my 2nd year....lack of time maybe?!...who knows....but anyway....even though i was not as involved wit my iPod...it was still the 1st thing i turn to whenever i was low....music helped me ease my angst....mellow my senses....and basically gimme an INCREDIBLE high....
Many people ask me why i don't drink or smoke up and stuff....don't i want to feel the 'buzz'?...and i think to myself that i have my music...and it truly gives me a high like no other...it's my cocaine...and my liquor...(sounds corny, but its true)...and i can get addicted to it and there'd b no side effects...except maybe temporary deaf-ness....which i think i can deal with (in fact, temporary deaf-ness can be quite welcome at times! :p)....so anyway, of late i have 'rediscovered' my addiction...so my iPod's been getting a nice li'l workout almost everyday for the past couple of weeks... :)
Another source of euphoria for me is my dancing....my disciplined and rigid, yet beautifully yielding mistress...when i'm dancing, i feel SO goddamn beautiful!...when i get a step right...all the hard work i put in...the aching bones & tired flesh, and the irritation that is a result of the two, seem to disappear...all the pain seems totally worth it...to perform a dance (almost) flawlessly is a feeling that beats all other kinds of 'highs' n 'buzzes' for me....it's seriously addictive!
There was this one phase where i couldn't dance for a year cause i'd torn a ligament...and believe me...it was SO hard for me to not dance...despite the fact that my heel hurt like a b*tch the minute i took a stance, it still took all my willpower to stop myself from getting up and dancing.
Imma let you in on something majorly embarrassing here, sometimes my withdrawal symptoms get so bad that i HAVE to dance (maybe just a coupla steps or jus sway...SOME form of dance!)
Whether it's the middle of the night or i'm in class. (:P) a song starts playin in my head...and my feet move of their own accord...there've been times when i've rushed to the loo in the middle of class just to get the 'dance' out..... :)
i think every should have something that gives them a 'high' w/o any (potentially) dangerous side effects or 'lows'...and by lows i mean hangovers and those incredibly depressive periods that i have seen all my friends who drink/smoke/smoke up experience when the 'high' starts wearing off...
i'm not talking bout the artificial (substance) induced highs....i'm talking bout those highs that YOU create within yourself...it is very important to be able to create your own happiness...it isn't easy...but it's not that tough either....'nuff said... :P
anyway....so that was bout my choice in intoxicants...think i've embarrassed myself enough for today....more on 'conditiong' next time....(hopefully!).... :)
A-ne-way (that's an 'anyway' wit a sigh :p)....my main reason, or rather, excuse, for the procrastination was that i needed to do 'research' on a certain idea....in my head....bout conditioning....n the whole Pavlov's Bell syndrome.....but i couldn't (read: wouldn't) find time....big surprise there!....so like all my other posts...this one's going be off the top o' my head as well....
i don't think i've mentioned my love for music before, have i?....probably cause i'd kinda eased off on listening to music....eased off in comparison to my school and early college days...cause from maybe the 7th grade till my 2nd year of BA i was practically attached, at the earlier stages, to my 'deck' (those almost obsolete tape+CD players)....progressed to a walkman....and then my iPod... :P ....i mean seriously...during my 11th and 12th...you would hardly ever find me w/o headphones around my neck (or on my ears)....but for some reason...i'd stopped listening to music quite so much after my 2nd year....lack of time maybe?!...who knows....but anyway....even though i was not as involved wit my iPod...it was still the 1st thing i turn to whenever i was low....music helped me ease my angst....mellow my senses....and basically gimme an INCREDIBLE high....
Many people ask me why i don't drink or smoke up and stuff....don't i want to feel the 'buzz'?...and i think to myself that i have my music...and it truly gives me a high like no other...it's my cocaine...and my liquor...(sounds corny, but its true)...and i can get addicted to it and there'd b no side effects...except maybe temporary deaf-ness....which i think i can deal with (in fact, temporary deaf-ness can be quite welcome at times! :p)....so anyway, of late i have 'rediscovered' my addiction...so my iPod's been getting a nice li'l workout almost everyday for the past couple of weeks... :)
Another source of euphoria for me is my dancing....my disciplined and rigid, yet beautifully yielding mistress...when i'm dancing, i feel SO goddamn beautiful!...when i get a step right...all the hard work i put in...the aching bones & tired flesh, and the irritation that is a result of the two, seem to disappear...all the pain seems totally worth it...to perform a dance (almost) flawlessly is a feeling that beats all other kinds of 'highs' n 'buzzes' for me....it's seriously addictive!
There was this one phase where i couldn't dance for a year cause i'd torn a ligament...and believe me...it was SO hard for me to not dance...despite the fact that my heel hurt like a b*tch the minute i took a stance, it still took all my willpower to stop myself from getting up and dancing.
Imma let you in on something majorly embarrassing here, sometimes my withdrawal symptoms get so bad that i HAVE to dance (maybe just a coupla steps or jus sway...SOME form of dance!)
Whether it's the middle of the night or i'm in class. (:P) a song starts playin in my head...and my feet move of their own accord...there've been times when i've rushed to the loo in the middle of class just to get the 'dance' out..... :)
i think every should have something that gives them a 'high' w/o any (potentially) dangerous side effects or 'lows'...and by lows i mean hangovers and those incredibly depressive periods that i have seen all my friends who drink/smoke/smoke up experience when the 'high' starts wearing off...
i'm not talking bout the artificial (substance) induced highs....i'm talking bout those highs that YOU create within yourself...it is very important to be able to create your own happiness...it isn't easy...but it's not that tough either....'nuff said... :P
anyway....so that was bout my choice in intoxicants...think i've embarrassed myself enough for today....more on 'conditiong' next time....(hopefully!).... :)
Hey ms. oxymoron of controlled impulsiveness.. ;) absolutely loved this.. in fact it made me 4get that Im stuck in a god forsaken hotel in a total blackout wit only my phone.. n made me smile.. Muchas Gracias!
ReplyDeletetwo reasons: one; i love d simple witty yet from d heart ramblings. Two; i can totally relate to how u gain natural highs from dance n music, while abstaining from self destructive addictions. i think u should publish this for a wider audience.
but i notice a pattern here; ur becoming an increasingly a lazy blogger.. Consider ur self severly reprimanded fr d same.. after all u need some good karma 2 write off those con artist tendencies ;p
-- nipuna..
ha ha ha....point taken....
ReplyDeleten thank you fer the encouragement....shall try 2 keep up the blogging.... :)