Sunday, January 4, 2009

changes.....

Things happen...people change....you change....your perception of people changes.....it's a part of life....not a part that i like very much....but nevertheless.....it's inevitable.....and i've learnt to do deal with it...not too well, i'm afraid......but, ive scraped through.......

Lots of things in my life have changed....people have changed....n sometimes.....i've handled it well....sometimes i haven't.....but i've learnt plenty.....like how not to let changes affect your relationships...i've let too many people go cause i haven't been able to accept that things were different & that they needed to be dealt with, not ignored!

i lost my best friend to my (for the lack of a better word) rigidity.....and cause i couldn't see through my bubble....i was wrapped up in a warped world where, at that point in time, she was the enemy.....she was like the elder sister i never had.....and i blew it!....by not giving her enough time.....and by not accepting that i had changed and so had she...And then i almost lost the only other person who i could call a best friend......but thankfully, he stayed (no credit to me!)......till i finally realised that things were different....and i had a chance to redeem myself....


When i think bout it, i don think i've had much luck with best friends....i 'lost' my first best friend when i shifted from Aurangabad to Pune.....and another one when she shifted from Pune to wherever.....And then my school teachers 'requested' my mom to keep me away from my then best friend....cause 'apparently' she was 'bad influence' (hey, i was in std 7 then!And i was a sweet, innocent kid, honest!)...Next i realised that me and the girl who'd been my best friend from 7th-10th 'grew up' to be completely different people...n then there was MJ & i thought i'd met my soul sister.....that didn't last fer too long now,did it?!.......


i thot i was doomed to be alone forever.....i mean, i had friends....i was never a loner per se.....but i was alone.....you no how it is.....you can b surrounded by people.....somee of whom care bout you.....but you still feel all alone....like no one understands you.....and at that point...i guess no one did.....i didn't understand myself.....cause i was going through such rapid changes....

Everything was changing on daily basis.....honestly.....you know how people say that people change overnight....well, its not true!....it's just that most of the times people are so wrapped up in their own worlds that they don see the changes happening gradually.....and by the time they do look, well, it's metamorphosis complete!.....

And there are times when you see a person in a certain way.....and then *BAM*.....a few days later you get completely different vibes.....people you thought were your friends suddenly start giving you all weird stand-offish vibes....and people who you thought were totally 'not your type' actually turn out to be tuned into the same frequency as you......*SURPRISE*....

Sometimes you just tend to get so comfortable with certain 'arrangements', that you delude yourself into thinking that ANY change couldn't possibly be for the better...but those are just boundaries you create in your own head...and by doing so...you're potentially closing yourself up to any kinda growth!

So yes, i've learnt plenty.....iv'e learnt that it's important to make time for people you care bout....and it's even more important to come to terms with the changes your going through (or they're going through!)...or a change in circumstances...even though it might be difficult to deal with it, it's totally worth it!...cause if you don't learn to deal.....well, you might just lose out on something special!