Wednesday, July 23, 2014

'Ante'social elements

I'm not a particularly social person. But I can be when I want to. (I believe the term for this personality type is 'ambivert'. I found this word, indirectly, through this article, which I think describes me quite perfectly.)

Lately, though, I haven't had particularly good (gross understatement!) experiences with people. And this spate of craptastic interactions was kinda pushing me towards not just introversion, but the 'I-hate-people-and-I-WILL-NOT-be-around-them' branch of anti-socialism.

Unfortunately, I discovered that Aristotle was right. And I am neither a god nor a beast to pull this 'anti-social' thing off. At least not if I want to get ahead in life (which I do).

So what I did, was I came up with this set of 'Ante'Social elements, that might prevent me from becoming 'Anti'Social.  Which means, I basically created for myself a 'pre-interaction checklist' of sorts, that would help me be social without letting things get sticky (and, in turn, upsetting).

How? Well, it all revolves around one basic fact that I have come to realize - People, when they associate with you, have agendas. Without exception. These agendas differ, of course. Some agendas are unselfish; some not so much; some are even mutually beneficial. And they keep changing. But they never go away.

The key is to successfully determine these agendas, and then align yours accordingly.

Sounds cynical? It is.

But it is an armour as well. One that protects your interests. And your sanity.

Of course I'm being selfish. I have to be. Cause everyone else is. The day that changes, so will I.

For now, however, I'll take selfish and happy over altruistic and miserable. Wouldn't you?