Thursday, January 29, 2015

What's next?

So I did what I planned to do last year. 1 blog post per month. Yay!

But now what? What next?

You do one thing. Great. But there's SO much more to do. ALWAYS!

It's tiring. Because no matter how much you do, there's always more to be done.

And it's scary. Because no matter how well you do it, there will always be new ways to make it better.

But, it can also be exciting. Because even if you know all about it now, there will be more to explore later.

And it can be encouraging. Because failure will not mean the end.

It all depends on how you see it.

So...what next?

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

The truth about the demise of reading

No one reads any more. NO ONE. But I've known that for a while now. And I've been slowly (albeit sorrowfully) coming to terms with it. So I'm not particularly surprised when people dismiss words or entirely skip reading something.

What shocks me though, is the reason behind this dismissive attitude.

I've always assumed that people don't have the time to read. Or that they're lazy. Both these reasons I've made peace with. I can even reconcile myself to the 'short attention span syndrome' (SASS) excuse.

Why? Because these reasons point towards the fact that people have the inclination to read, but lack a conducive setting to do so. These reasons hold hope.

But the fact of the matter is that it's not about time or distractions. This whole premise of 'inclination' that I had pinned my hopes on, it doesn't exist! Our world is on the brink of an 'all style, irrelevant substance' state of existence. People don't WANT to read. Mainly because they're losing the ability to understand the importance of words (and functionality).

This habit of spoon-feeding that we've gotten into, it's making the mind dull. People are slowly losing their ability to think and process things that are beyond the obvious. And since 'visuals' are the most obvious (and easy to process) form of perception, all that has begun to matter is what it looks like.

This means that we have stupid-ized people to a point where they can't look beyond what they see (pun intended). And that paints a very bleak picture for mankind.

Saturday, October 11, 2014


It's time to cut
away that which grew to be cancerous.
Time to cut
deep, before the onset of the rancorous

thoughts; before you drive yourself
crazy with self doubt.
So anaesthetize,
to dull, to drown out

the pain, temporarily,
so you can weed
out every little soft spot.
Before it can bleed

and dry out,
to form sharp edges,
razor sharp,
putting in wedges

between you
and everyone around;
numb it down.
Anaesthetize to unbound.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Positivity Trap: Reason vs Excuses

I am SO tired of people saying this - "If we're positive, then (some ridiculously lofty goal) will get done!"

Right. Sure. Because 'being positive' magically changes the laws of nature and allows you to bend the time & space continuum, so you can achieve the impossible.

Which means you can set absolutely unrealistic goals, be all 'woopie' about it, and *voila* it will be done!


Whatever happened to good old logic? And assessment. What is making it so hard for people to have a good think about things and then coming to a conclusion, instead of just jumping the gun with an emphatic 'YES' before even grasping the intricacies of what they're setting out to do/create?

Because when you start with a 'no', or even a 'maybe', they hit you with -"And don't gimme excuses!"

Excuses? No. These are called reasons. There is a difference between the two.

Unlike excuses, reasons are actually backed by logic. Reasoning something out involves understanding, then overcoming. Excuses are a way to avoid things. Reasons are justifications for changing them and making them better.

But they can't see that because they're basking in the afterglow of their 'effervescent positivity'.

People seem to have completely forgotten that positivity, by itself, achieves nothing. It makes the task at hand bearable, is all.

And I'm all for doing something with a positive attitude. But if you're going to say 'yes' to things without listening to reason, you're never going to get anything done. Or worse, get something half-assed up and believe that you have created something extraordinary.

You HAVE to handle problems with the harsh gloves of cold, hard facts first. Only then must you put on the mask of positivity that adds a warm glow to what you're working on.

You HAVE to prepare yourself to say no to things that are unreasonable and learn to admit that some things are not doable.

If you can't, then all the best living in your bubble! Just pray that sharp edges don't come your way.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

The 'Middle Path'

I have issues; Not issues (kids), issues (problems)! And they mostly revolve around control. There are times when I just cannot give control up. And that would've been manageable...if only there weren't times that I wanted none!

It's almost like I am two people who are polar opposites.

Now if you ask people around me, they would definitely say that the second me (the one who hates any semblance of control) doesn't exist. I am, after all, known to have major panic attacks when things aren't planned. But the thing they don't understand, is that the panic is the result of the two 'me's giving out conflicting signals.

It's a mess in my head, thanks to these two - one telling me to obsessively hold on to reins of control, the other telling me to let go and walk away. It's like tying together a wandering gypsy (is there any other kind?) and a control freak corporate professional with an unbreakable rope and sending them out into the world.

I'm being pulled in two directions ALL THE TIME!

I've become the middle point in a constant tug-of-war between two equally strong opponents. And because of this I'm living a ridiculously average life - where I'm not a kickass, super-comprehensive, structured plan creator, nor am I a free-falling, super chill, wild child (and I know I'd be awesome either way).

And it's not fear that holds me back. Cause if it was fear, it would've been easy. I would have a direction.

The problem is, unfortunately, that I have an inherent love for order AND chaos. And until (if ever) one wins over the other, I will be in this lost state...on a middle path to nowhere.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

'Ante'social elements

I'm not a particularly social person. But I can be when I want to. (I believe the term for this personality type is 'ambivert'. I found this word, indirectly, through this article, which I think describes me quite perfectly.)

Lately, though, I haven't had particularly good (gross understatement!) experiences with people. And this spate of craptastic interactions was kinda pushing me towards not just introversion, but the 'I-hate-people-and-I-WILL-NOT-be-around-them' branch of anti-socialism.

Unfortunately, I discovered that Aristotle was right. And I am neither a god nor a beast to pull this 'anti-social' thing off. At least not if I want to get ahead in life (which I do).

So what I did, was I came up with this set of 'Ante'Social elements, that might prevent me from becoming 'Anti'Social.  Which means, I basically created for myself a 'pre-interaction checklist' of sorts, that would help me be social without letting things get sticky (and, in turn, upsetting).

How? Well, it all revolves around one basic fact that I have come to realize - People, when they associate with you, have agendas. Without exception. These agendas differ, of course. Some agendas are unselfish; some not so much; some are even mutually beneficial. And they keep changing. But they never go away.

The key is to successfully determine these agendas, and then align yours accordingly.

Sounds cynical? It is.

But it is an armour as well. One that protects your interests. And your sanity.

Of course I'm being selfish. I have to be. Cause everyone else is. The day that changes, so will I.

For now, however, I'll take selfish and happy over altruistic and miserable. Wouldn't you?

Monday, June 30, 2014

Borderline Narcissism: Why it's good for me (and maybe you!)

That is possibly the longest headline I've written for this blog. But then again, a long headline is better than a misleading one. 

Anyway, so I was talking to a friend the other day (telling him about this blog actually), when I realized that I like things to be about me. Not every time, but often enough to just barely qualify as a narcissist.

A couple of years ago, I'd have been appalled by the realization and done my best to try and be un-narcissistic. Because, you know, 'people' say it's not a good trait to have. And I'd have complied, cause I was such a sucker for general acceptance.

But not now. Now I think for myself. About myself. So I take better decisions. And that's the first good thing that my acquired semi-narcissism has done for me. It has helped me get rid of the 'what-will-people-say' syndrome to a great extent.

Now, I'm not saying that being full of yourself is good. Not at all. Cause I'm not talking about that sorta full-blown form of narcissism.

Notice that I've said 'borderline'. This category of narcissism is elective. And so, it is aware. It is a sort of mixture of 'focused awareness' and 'semi-selfishness'.

This narcissism is not inherent. It is the product of circumstance. Gone are the days when people put others before themselves. And when others stop, you have to stop too. Unless you're strong/meek enough (depends on how you see it) to be secondary to everyone, including yourself.

But I'm neither. So I choose to put myself first. Borderline narcissism.

It's made me a happier person really, because when I'm focused on myself, I'm not bothered by the insensitivity, the judgement, the hypocrisy that is all around me.

I'm not plagued by self-doubt all the time. And I'm not too hard on myself when I make tiny errors.

This borderline narcissism makes me want to keep getting better, so I don't get bested. And what makes me better can't be such a bad thing, can it?