And so...after a long sabbatical....i'm back....and this time....i'm not even going to try to tell myself that i'll be regular...cause i know i won't....
A lot of new things have happened over the past few months....new friendships revived....impressions revised....new connections....some memorable....some not so much....some good....some not so good....
It feels good to rekindle old relationships....and by relationships i mean friendships/kinships/acquaintances/family bonds....wherever people are involved....It's nice to reconnect with people that you've lost touch with over the years....it's like getting a new hold on your roots....on what you were....and, at the same time, growing & forging mature relationships....cause these people from your past are the ones who knew what you were....and they'll b able to tell what has changed (if anything)....and they are the one's who'll appreciate those tiny changes that everyone undergoes over time....
Believe me....even those tiny changes take effort....when you realise, as you grow up, what you were doing wrong, and make conscious efforts to change those aspects, it feels good to have someone acknowledge those changes....however silently.... :)
It feels good to get ova those 'barriers' that existed earlier.....and get a glimpse of a whole new person that you never expected to find underneath it all....it makes you glad that you took the risk....the risk of approaching the ex-'unapproachable's (:p)....the risk of being turned away....and not being acknowledged....you know, like when you wave at someone you know in public and they don't wave back?!
But what happens when, at the end of it all, you've 'uncovered' something wonderful....but it all comes crumbling down?....walls go back up again ( for whatever reasons, because these things are complicated!)....facades & masks fall back into place.....and you're back where you started....back to square one.
It's disappointing....and frustrating...do you keep trying?....or just let go?....knowing what lies behind the concrete & stones....all the awesome camaraderie....the matching frequencies....knowing that could potentially be something good & true....makes it SUPER hard to give up....but then again....what's the point of trying, you're mind rationalizes....cause every time those walls break, new ones get put up....
but as y'all (should) know by now.....i'm not one to rationalize.... :p
So i'll just keep trying....and maybe some day....those walls will fall down and STAY down!....and hopefully no 'complications' will arise....
A lot of new things have happened over the past few months....new friendships revived....impressions revised....new connections....some memorable....some not so much....some good....some not so good....
It feels good to rekindle old relationships....and by relationships i mean friendships/kinships/acquaintances/family bonds....wherever people are involved....It's nice to reconnect with people that you've lost touch with over the years....it's like getting a new hold on your roots....on what you were....and, at the same time, growing & forging mature relationships....cause these people from your past are the ones who knew what you were....and they'll b able to tell what has changed (if anything)....and they are the one's who'll appreciate those tiny changes that everyone undergoes over time....
Believe me....even those tiny changes take effort....when you realise, as you grow up, what you were doing wrong, and make conscious efforts to change those aspects, it feels good to have someone acknowledge those changes....however silently.... :)
It feels good to get ova those 'barriers' that existed earlier.....and get a glimpse of a whole new person that you never expected to find underneath it all....it makes you glad that you took the risk....the risk of approaching the ex-'unapproachable's (:p)....the risk of being turned away....and not being acknowledged....you know, like when you wave at someone you know in public and they don't wave back?!
But what happens when, at the end of it all, you've 'uncovered' something wonderful....but it all comes crumbling down?....walls go back up again ( for whatever reasons, because these things are complicated!)....facades & masks fall back into place.....and you're back where you started....back to square one.
It's disappointing....and frustrating...do you keep trying?....or just let go?....knowing what lies behind the concrete & stones....all the awesome camaraderie....the matching frequencies....knowing that could potentially be something good & true....makes it SUPER hard to give up....but then again....what's the point of trying, you're mind rationalizes....cause every time those walls break, new ones get put up....
but as y'all (should) know by now.....i'm not one to rationalize.... :p
So i'll just keep trying....and maybe some day....those walls will fall down and STAY down!....and hopefully no 'complications' will arise....
